It's been over 4 months since I arrived in Florida for the second time. This time last year I was already back home! While that was the plan again this year, as most of you know, plans changed. Halfway through my 2nd College Program I was transferred into what's called a Professional Internship. Or as I like to call it, my first big girl job! It's been absolutely amazing, and I love every minute of it. I get to make magic and resolve issues all while wearing my own clothes and sitting in an air conditioned office with my own cubicle and phone and email and everything a 21 year old college kid could ask for! It's perfect!
But I don't wanna talk about that today.
Really what I'm writing about has nothing to do with Disney or my internship. I want to apologize in advance for coming off as dramatic or whiny. I'll be the first to admit that I DESPISE when people use social media as a platform to complain about life and get attention. Like people, your dirty laundry goes in the wash, not on Facebook. But I digress...
The reason I'm writing this at all is because I think it's something a lot of people go through at my age or my stage of life. It's an issue that doesn't get a whole lot of attention, and I think it really needs to be addressed. With everyone. Regardless of if you're moving away from home, already have, have friends that are, or if you're a real life adult and none of this even applies to you.
What really happens when you pack up and move 1000 miles away?
When I left Louisiana last April to spend 4 months in Florida on my first college program I had a lot of friends. There was a big going away party, tears were shed, I was sad, and I knew in 4 months I had something to come home to. Well moving day came and went, fast forward a few weeks, and I hadn't heard from almost anyone. Me and my close girlfriends group texted. We all skyped once. They even sent me a nice present! But by the time the 4 months was winding down, I really didn't hear a whole lot out of anyone back home.
Now during this 4 months I made a lot of friends in Florida! I got close with a lot of people and by the end of it, I felt as if I had 2 separate lives, I had home friends and I had CP friends. But I would soon discover a big difference in the two. When I got back home last August, I stayed in decent contact with my CP friends. Now I won't say we spoke as much as I wished we had, but time zones can be a bitch. The point is we all tried. There were several people that I had only spent 4 months with, that made real efforts to stay in touch when possible. But what happened with my home friends when I was finally home?
When I got back to Louisiana in August everything seemed to fall back into place. Like we picked up where we left off! But I soon realized that in that 4 months a lot had changed with my friend group. Some of us weren't as close as we used to be. Some were graduating and just had better things to do. Some people just kinda fell of the face of the Earth. Well my Earth anyway. As month by month passed it felt like I didn't even have anymore friends. I'd see people on campus and it was "Hi OMG I haven't seen you in forever lets hang out!" You know what I'm talking about though. That conversation that you know as the words are coming out of their mouth that it's never going to happen. I'd go to parties and to the bar and find myself searching for someone, anyone, to talk to. More often than not, I'd drain my phone battery because I'd just find some couch and sit there util Louis was ready to leave. Friday nights turned into just wanting to stay in with a pizza and Netflix instead of going to my sorority's function because I knew no one would miss me. I felt awful. Miserable even. I wouldn't go so far to say "depressed" because I know that's a real disease and I don't take that lightly. But my social life totally sucked.
Needless to say, I decided real quick fast and in a hurry that I was getting my ass back to Orlando ASAP. So fast forward to applying for another CP, getting accepted, and preparing to leave again. I was thrilled to be going back to what I now called home. But things were definitely different this time. There was no going away party, no group tears shed, no friend group waiting for my return. Hell, at this point I didn't even feel welcomed in my own sorority. I said my goodbyes to my family and Louis and his family, and that was it. I was gone. And you know what happened?
I was welcomed back to Florida with multiple open arms. I had friends waiting on me, people who wanted to see me. I had plans and for the first time in forever (pun intended) I felt like going out and having a hell of a good time! And things haven't changed. Excited is an understatement to describe how I felt when I found out I'd get to be here till January! I've made even more fiends and I even keep in touch with most of my old friends from my first time in Florida. I'm always going on a new adventure with new people and life is honest to goodness absolutely fantastic. So much so that I'm even looking into transferring to the University of Central Florida. But can you guess who I keep in touch with from back home? Family of course. Louis, obviously. But out of all the people I know from back home, I keep in touch with 1 friend. One. And guess what? He's about a week away from moving back down to Orlando for his second college program.
I want to reiterate that I am not writing this to be dramatic or just to complain. I'm writing this because it's been weighing heavy on my heart recently. Because I'm not the first person in the world to go through this, and I sure as hell ain't the last. This is normal. So beyond normal.
So listen to me. If you're reading this, and find yourself in my shoes. If you're watching all the people you grew up with and went to college with getting married and settling down into their little homes. If you're seeing your old friends hang out and you're not there. If you're missing a special little ones first birthday. If you're missing important moments in the lives of people you love. If you're questioning whether your friends are actually your friends. If you feel like suddenly you're a different person. If you're feeling guilty because you took a huge leap of faith and did something to make yourself happy.
Congratulations. You did it. You found happiness. Now don't Let It Go.
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